(September 21, 2023) Richard Winter shares a challenge…

I better warn you – this is about those one of those hard sayings of Jesus, in fact one that believers must look at and act on!

Something Jesus wants us to be doing that involves denying ourselves and saying ‘Yes’ to God’s will. And it’s one of the most difficult things for all of us to do!

And what is it? you cautiously ask. It’s Jesus’ command about forgiving other people who have wronged us!

Now that’s difficult!
Yes… and no wonder that the like of Collins English Dictionary explains ‘difficult’ as ‘not easy to do, understand, or deal with: requiring effort.’

Now we humans know all about anger, bitterness, resentment, revenge, hate and grudges when we’ve been hurt. After all, aren’t these normal emotions of people?

But… you’re asking me to forgive those who have hurt me?

No, I’m not! Please stay with me here…

A hard saying indeed
Jesus was very much aware of the normal emotions of the human spirit when He gave directions for us to work and live with other human beings. He spoke directly to the human condition in His ‘hard saying’ to forgive other people, even after they have been really rotten to you.

Now no one says that what Jesus instructed in what we call the Lord’s prayer is easy to do in: ‘Forgive people when they sin against you’ (Matthew 6:14aNIRV). ‘Sin’ here is paraptōma – to deliberately or unintentionally transgress, fail, offend.

But Jesus had very good reasons for requiring us to forgive! Verse 14b says why we must forgive offenders – ‘If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you.’ That’s the good news… verse 15 tells the bad news if we don’t! ‘But if you do not forgive people their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.’ 

• Now that’s scary!
• Jesus plainly puts the ball in our court!
• You forgive – and God will forgive you.
• Don’t deny yourself and say ‘No’ to God’s will, and you won’t be forgiven!
• So we have a choice. Choose to follow Christ’s instructions or disobey Him.

‘What? Forgive them…’
I can hear you saying that, thinking ‘You want do what? Forgive them? Are you kidding? You don’t know what they’ve done to me!’

Actually, I’ve heard such responses from many church people… and I know they fall far short of Jesus’ desire for Christians. So let’s look closely at unforgiveness and forgiveness –

(i) Unforgiveness

• This is a bondage at the emotional level.
• It stifles the ability to love and accept those who need it most!
• If we can’t forgive then we fall short of the abundant life Christ promised to give us.

(ii) Forgiveness

• Forgiveness involves three elements – injury, a debt, and a cancellation of that debt.
• It’s the act of setting someone free from an obligation due you, that wrong done you.
• That debt is forgiven when you free the debtor from the obligation to recompense what they owe you.

We all know some folk we can’t stand to be with. We come into their presence and want to strike out at them even if it’s only verbal. And when we find ourselves doing this we need to realise that we haven’t come to grips with Jesus’ commandment on forgiveness!

Unforgiveness – a hostage situation
From time to time we hear the news that someone has been taken hostage and we rightfully recoil from such behaviour.

When a person is taken hostage in an international setting the abductors usually want something… money, weapons, freed prisoners.

The bottom line is that there is a ransom for the release of something – ‘If you give us what we want then we will release what we’ve taken.’

There is a sense that we are taken hostage when we refuse to forgive another person. It is biblically wrong not to forgive! And until you have paid the unforgiveness wrong you’ve done, there is no cancellation of the debt.

Remember Jesus’ love for us… He paid our ransom at Calvary! Matthew 20:28NLT tells that ‘…the Son of Man came…to give His life as a ransom for many.’ 1 Timothy 2:6 states that Jesus ‘gave Himself as ransom for all.’

Choose to lose or win
Anyone who has an unforgiving spirit is always a real loser. We can choose to do the right thing… that which  Jesus said to do – forgive the other person!

Unforgiveness prevents Christians from following through on specifics of the Christian life and consequently causes them to walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit.

Admittedly, we rarely want to love someone who has hurt us – but this is where Jesus wants us to be a winner. The apostle Paul also encourages us to have a forgiving spirit: ‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others’(Colossians 3:13NLT).

To the Ephesian church he wrote: ‘And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tender-hearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted),forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ (already) forgave you’(Ephesians 4:32AMP).

Unforgiveness will actually spill over into other areas of our human relationships. Yes, we may have been hurt by  something that has happened (even years ago!), and carrying anger and resentment. And yes our complaint may be real – but the ability to forgive is greater and is ours! Hostility is something we can gain control over.

The rejection connection
When a person is wronged rejection sets in immediately – it’s like a snake bite, and the poison races through the blood stream eventually paralysing the heart and life stops!

Remember when you were young and your boyfriend (or girlfriend) cruelly dropped you and broke your heart? You then decided you would never trust another male or female! And that resentment lived in your heart until you met someone better than your former disappointing companion.

That’s what meeting Jesus is all about – His love will change your life and your life focus.

The waiting game
Unforgiving persons really do spend a lot of time waiting for the other person to come to them asking for forgiveness. But this is a conditional forgiveness – a case of if you do this then I’ll do that.

And have you ever noticed that its always preceded with that little word ‘If.’ If he (or she or they)…

• Apologises to me.
• Asks me first.
• Invites me.
• If, if, if – it’s always conditional!

Something else here… many times what we mistook as rejection can be unintentional… so when you look at an event that has apparently wronged you, don’t be oversensitive.

Even differing opinions need not make others an enemy. The reality is that we have all said and done things that we would like others to overlook and move on!

Here’s the bottom line: You choose to lose if you harbour rejection. No matter how wrong the other person was – you lose if you don’t forgive.

I mentioned a snake above… refusing to forgive means you’re holding onto a hurt that is like holding a rattlesnake. Sooner or later you will not only hear the rattle but you will feel the bite and the poison will flow through your life! Unforgiveness will kill you.

Jesus made our decisions about forgiveness abundantly clear –

(i) We needed God’s forgiveness because we have sinned.
(ii) What we have received is what we should share with others.

Let’s take that personally. Have we ever –

• Maligned someone in gossip?
• Lied to defend ourselves?
• Needed love and grace when we messed up?

Yes of course we have! And how did God treat us? Did He make His love conditional on what He would do only if we would do something? He did not!

What Jesus did was explain that what we have received from God is how we should treat others! People who need assistance do not need someone to kick them when they are down, either emotionally, physically or spiritually. The church of Jesus Christ is to lead the way in human relationships – we are to be images of Jesus.

The P.U.S.H. principle…
But what about the reality of changing your reality that’s been established by God… you want to forgive but you are struggling to do it.

You need a little push to get you going! In fact, that word ‘push’ is a good way to conclude this message, so I suggest that you use PUSH as an acronym – Push Until Something Happens!

(i) Push your Bible reading time – read more of God’s word each day… it will produce change.
(ii) Push your prayer time – be open and honest with God… and ask for His Holy Spirit’s help.
(iii) Push more response time – when God speaks and directs… don’t be unresponsive!

This will give us direction for not only each new day, but life itself! And when we decide to do life God’s way and do what Jesus told us to do we will see life from a different perspective… never more will we wish people ‘go to hell.’ Rather we will actively seek that they ‘never go to hell!’

I haven’t been writing about forgetting… but about learning! Sin will have no place in heaven for God is perfect holiness! Our decision today, even right now, should be one of prayer –

• Thanking God for His love that covers all sins.
• Thanking Him that while we were yet sinners He loved us.
• Praying for those we have sinned against… and asking for forgiveness.
• Praying for those who have sinned against us – and forgiving them!
• Praying for the Holy Spirit’s help that we will live in the Spirit, be Spirit-filled and Spirit-led.

May you understand this ‘hard saying of Jesus’ and respond as God commands!

We are to live differently from the world lives – and live as Jesus desired His disciples to act… astute followers of His teachings and commands. And that’s one thing I’m definitely not kidding about!

Remember… there’s a world of lost souls out there looking for Spirit-filled, Spirit-led Christians!

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Dr Richard Winter pastors The Connection Church, Huntington Beach, California. Link: OnlinerConnect@gmail.com
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