(June 06, 2025) Dr Richard Winter shares a vital challenge…

High School in my day was where they prepared you for your university experience. If you were to take a Bachelor Arts Degree you would need to have a language— our choice was Latin or French. Latin? Aww… that’s a dead language and no one spoke that! But French? Now that sounded good; had me dreaming that perhaps one day I would go to Paris. Off we went learning our French vocabulary.

And as inquisitive teenagers we soon learned some French phrases that were not complimentary— like Ferme la bouche— shut your mouth! I tried it on my sisters at home but my mother worked out that what I was saying was not a compliment.… and I got into trouble!

Have you ever said something that you later regretted saying? On the other hand, have you ever wished you had said something that you later regretted not saying?

Condemning Tongue
Words really do matter. It matters what you say and how you say it. It matters whether you speak, text, talk or Tweet it.

An  unknown smart person observed that ‘Even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept it’s mouth shut!’ Think about that for a moment! Are we smarter than a fish? Abraham Lincoln said: ‘It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open ones’s mouth and remove all doubt.’

Words matter so much to Jesus! In Matthew 12:34–47 we read that He said: ‘…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.’

Not one of us can get a free pass for misusing our words! We’ve all done it and there are two words in the verses above that we all need to identify and know— ‘Condemnation and acquittal.’

We all know we have used our words badly and that condemns us… so how do we get acquittal for our bad language?

The ultimate acquittal of our condemning words is when we confess Jesus as our Lord and Saviour;  Then we can be assured of the Lord’s forgiveness, because the Bible says that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

The question then becomes ‘Are you in Christ, are you a member of His body of faithful believers?’

Because if you are then you are forgiven! There will be no condemnation for your past— you’ve been totally forgiven, completely and forever!

Careless Tongue
But… it’s important to remember that God is listening to and recording our conversations and there are spiritual reasons for this ongoing recording. Jesus said ‘… everyone will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken’ (Matthew 12:36-37).

He also said that ‘there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known’ (Luke 12:2). God knows everything… there are no ‘hidden secrets’ with Him today, let alone Judgment Day!

No wonder that James, Jesus’ half-brother, wrote a strong imperative concerning our tongue— ‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…’ (James 1:19).

This is a very clear challenge about how to live as a Christian! We must learn to control our tongue from carelessness and exercise wisdom from above!

One wise person observed that since God gave us two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we talk. Now that should be written somewhere so that we can read it every time our words heat up! I know that I’ve failed in this injunction— and I’m not alone.

James takes words spoken carelessly in anger as a revelation of one’s real relationship with Christ— ‘Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless’ (James 1:26).

Controlled Tongue
Knowing when to hold your words has saved many a hurt heart. Just as it’s impossible to unring a bell, it can be impossible to unstable a soul hurt by angry words. It may take much time, even years… and sadly some people never become unstabled.

Nevertheless it is possible to know what to do if you have failed with words because Jesus will guide you lovingly to be the new person you are in Christ. The tongue has the potential to be guarded… and in guarding your tongue, you can control the rest of your body (James 3:2–4).

• ‘He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin’ (Proverbs 13:3).
• James writes that if a little thing like a bit in a horse’s mouth controls the horse and a little thing like a rudder controls a ship, then a little thing like the tongue can control your whole body (James 3:3-4).
• If you can get your mouth in check, you can gain control over other areas of your life.
• It all starts with the tongue— and James 3:8 says that ‘no man can tame the tongue,’
• But God can, so we need to call on the Holy Spirit for help!

Even David knew how to pray about his speech. He wrote ‘Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips’ (Psalm 141:3ESB).

Corruptive Tongue
The tongue has the potential to corrupt your life and relationships. Just like a small spark can cause a raging forest fire, the smallest thing said can cause horrible, devastating results (James 3:6). Think about this: How many good reputations have been ruined because of gossip or slander or false testimony? A person can spend a lifetime trying to regain his or her good name.

Remember the apostle Peter? Jesus had been arrested by a band of soldiers and taken bound to the high priest. Peter had followed and was waiting around in the courtyard outside. As it was a cold night, he went over to a blazing fire to warm himself.

Unexpectedly a servant girl challenged him: ‘You also were with Jesus of Galilee’ (Matthew 26:70). Peter instantly denied it not only to her but before the men gathered there: ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Luke 22 tells that ‘A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them”’ Peter’s words this time were ‘Man, I am not!’ (v58). ‘About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.” Peter replied harshly, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”’ (v59-60).

Suddenly a rooster crowed and Peter realises that with his own tongue he has denied Jesus three times, just as had been prophesied by Jesus! Verse 62 tells that Peter went outside and wept bitterly. But… the good news is that our loving Saviour forgave him!

Later in writing good advice to the church Peter was able to speak from this experience and said this— ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech’ (1Peter 3:10).

Contradictive Tongue
The tongue has the potential to contradict God’s plan for our ability to communicate with each other. Genesis 11’s Tower of Babel is the history of ungodly speech and God dealing with that situation by scattering people to many places.

If animals and machines can be controlled (James 3:7) we, the epitome of God’s creation, must learn to be Holy Spirit controlled. The Spirit comes to every new believer on salvation indwelling them… and the resultant transformation is the process of maturing us.

Maturing Christians don’t praise God and curse men with the same tongue! We must get rid of slander, sarcasm, criticism, gossip, insulting, lying, berating, cursing, manipulating and deceiving!

In short, we are to use our mouth to praise, encourage, inspire, warn, advise, teach, love, comfort, bless and affirm.

I think that James was talking from his own experience when he wrote… he didn’t always believe that his half-brother Jesus was to become his Saviour. He could have said negative things like those above, but now he shares the practical example of ‘not speaking out of both sides of your mouth’—

‘Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water’ (James 3:10-12).

Our speech will give us away just like Peter’s did. We need to be knowledgeable about what we say and when we say it. Cursing and retaliation is the way unsaved people act. Maturing Christians know they must control their speech and their anger— and if we fail we know how to repent and apologise.

Constrained Tongue
Heavenly wisdom is evident in the life of a Christian because the fruit is easy to see. It is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, full of good fruit, impartial and sincere.

God is just as concerned about our journey through life as He is about our eternal destination. As knowledge is the accumulation of information; and wisdom its application, we need God’s impartation.

The person who lives by earthly wisdom is someone who is never content, insatiable, covetous, and always trying to get ahead at the expense of other people. How you live, how you achieve, how you relate to people along the way is more important to God than just getting there.

If  nothing else remember the fish— if it had kept its mouth shut it wouldn’t have ended up in trouble!

Let’s ensure that our tongue is Holy Spirit constrained… and we avoid criticism by unsaved onlookers. ‘Control of the tongue’ is another mark of Christianity maturity!

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Dr Richard Winter pastors The Connection Church, Huntington Beach, California. Link: OnlinerConnect@gmail.com  
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