John 14:1CJB

NEGATIVE TRANSFERENCE

(February 26, 2023) Dr Robert McQuillan encourages a troubled carer…

Dr Robert
You mentioned some troubling heavies in your article Troubled-hearts-minds-and-characters. To avoid such things hanging on us. I like your quote from the Complete Jewish Bible: ‘Don’t let yourselves be disturbed’ (John 14:1CJB).

Well, I am disturbed, Robert, and while I hear what you’re saying here, I’m still feeling heavy, downhearted, uneasy and I’m wondering if having to counselling people (even Christians),having to always be listening to their troubles, their problems, could somehow be at the bottom of how I’m feeling. Pastor ‘Jones’.

Hi Pastor ‘Jones’

I could have said much more in that article… but as I have to limit other contributors, I have to cull back my own articles too! Now then, I’m wondering if the following is the cause of what you’re feeling… (if so, it’s a piece of advice, a warning, that I’ve written about before, given to pastors, even to  psychiatrists, physiatrists and counsellors, Christian or not! (Especially carers with the right heart like yourself).

In a nutshell… don’t be tricked into carrying the deadweight of those who trouble you with their heavy problems! Be wise… there’s a subtilty here. The one being helped may not even be aware of it but what can happen – has happened – is that after a while they’re feeling great but you’re feeling uncomfortable.

Transference
Don’t be concerned about technical names here… think of it as ‘transference.’ Now professionals mentioned above know about different kinds of transference… but sometimes even ‘experts’ need to be reminded to back down! Especially when negative transference is the name of the game!

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TROUBLED HEARTS, MINDS AND CHARACTERS

(February 22, 2023) Dr Robert McQuillan encourages those with troubled hearts …

The following is in response to some recent questions, and requests for help and prayer, from some troubled Christians, and other conversations from yesteryear, where I’ve endeavoured to put some minds at rest.

There are times when something comes up, something is said or done that hurts so much that it stings our very hearts. Maybe something completely out of line, something nasty, accusative (maybe through misunderstanding), or even something simple, that burrows hurtfully deep in our thinking.

Do note something here: If we talk about our ‘upset heart’ we’re meaning that our emotions are upset! However, when the Bible talks about the heart, it is referring to our character… and many times it’s our character that’s been hurt, even slandered!

Jesus was cool
The first time Jesus mentioned the heart was on the sermon on the mount: ‘Blessed are the pure in heart’ (Matthew 5:8a). And what would be the outcome? ‘They shall see God’ (v8b)! And how do we see God? In the character of Jesus of course… John 14:8-11! How pure, how wise, how loving and forgiving He was – and is.

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CALLINGS, CHANGES AND CHALLENGES

(January 25, 2023) Robert McQuillan shares encouragement …

As with other articles in this issue 2023 can be a time of accepting a challenge from God, whatever it may be. And if one does, it’ll involve three Cs… Callings, Changes and Challenges.

Callings – that’s between you and God. Answering them, I’ll just point out, will mean…

  • Trusting the Lord more than ever.
  • Discovering more about God.
  • Serving Jesus in new position(s) with the Holy Spirit’s anointing and power.
  • Believing for and seeing more miracles and salvations.
  • Making your mark for Christ.

As for changes and challenges, they’ll involve…

1) Convincement
John 14:1 is such a well-known scripture, and often preached on. As I’m talking about challenges and changes, some of which I’ve mentioned above and some readers might be concerned (oops, another C!), I’ll quote from the CJB (Complete Jewish Bible) – ‘Don’t let yourselves be disturbed. Trust in God and trust in me.’

Trust is pisteuo… to believe, have faith in, be persuaded, to place trust in. Read the preceding chapter and note that tension was really in the air among the first disciples! Jesus had been indicating challenges and changes that lay ahead – His betrayal, death, the depths of Peter’s commitment, and now He indicating that He will be leaving them. Doubt, distrust and uncertainty had crept in already. No wonder John 13:22 tells that the disciples were staring at one another!

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